Being liked vs. being a leader

I like being liked.

Honestly… who doesn’t?

We all want people to enjoy working with us. We want our teams to feel good around us. We want clients to trust us. We want to walk into a room and feel the energy of people who are genuinely happy to see us.

That’s human.

But here’s something I’ve learned as a business owner:

If your main goal is to be liked… you will eventually make decisions that hurt the business.

Leadership requires decisions that don’t always feel comfortable.

Sometimes that means giving honest feedback when someone would rather hear reassurance.

Sometimes it means setting boundaries when it would be easier to just say yes.

Sometimes it means holding a higher standard when everyone around you would prefer the easier path.

And sometimes… it means someone might not like you in that moment.

That part can be hard.

Especially if you’re someone who naturally cares about people and relationships. I care deeply about the people I work with. I want them to feel supported, empowered, and proud of the work we’re doing together.

But I’ve also learned that being respected and being liked are not always the same thing.

Real leadership isn’t about keeping everyone comfortable.

It’s about creating an environment where people can grow.

It’s about protecting the vision of the business.

It’s about making decisions today that serve the company—and the people in it—long term.

Ironically, the leaders who focus only on being liked often lose trust.

But the leaders who focus on clarity, honesty, and standards usually earn something better.

Respect.

And respect builds stronger teams, stronger cultures, and stronger businesses.

So yes, I like being liked.

But when the moment calls for it, I’m willing to choose leadership instead.